I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize
