Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Hippo gnu deer
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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