omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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