i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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