Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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