those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
