what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize