I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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