i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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