the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize