Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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