I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
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