how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
