If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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