If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize