I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.