I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.