I like to think it a success when the cops are called
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.