a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
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