My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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