HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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