Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
