Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
