I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
