I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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