dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
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