You work out of a Hotel?
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Randomize
