its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Come share oat with me in your robe
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.