i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
