i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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