She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.