plz talk dirty to me
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science