You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
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I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
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Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate