Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
if only i could text you this smell
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING