my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
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I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
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So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU