so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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