ya dads aren't the best wingmen
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
