the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
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