He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
meet me or not, i'm out of control
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
