Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
