oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize