I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
