am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
