4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Randomize
