My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
