remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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