i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
either way he was missing a nipple.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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