so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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