haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
