Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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