Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
