This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
