Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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