you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
