i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize