I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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