The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
