There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
