do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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