Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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