pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
