I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
